I once heard and sang a song entitled “Because of Who You Are” in a church. The song quickly caught my attention; oh maybe more precisely, touched my heart. I don’t know, I forget the exact reason why I felt touched by that time. But the one thing I remember when the song is sung over and over, I bowed and cried that, ‘I worship God not because of what He has been doing or what He will always do to me only, but also because He deserves the totality of worship from the heart of mine–this tiny and shameful creature.’
This song is often echoed in my head and my heart, as if it didn’t want me to forget what it conveys; especially during the last three months. Three months that never stop eating my time. Three months that were so full–I couldn’t even remember whether or not I ever had Saturdays and Sundays. Three months in which I was much ‘destroyed’ and ‘reshaped’ by God; starting from being reminded again that 1) I am just NOTHING though He put me to serve my fellow friends, 2) my mood was easily distracted and disturbed, 3) I was physically weak, and also, 4) I was not that patient (I think there’s more).
There were some nights that I cried over my self; realizing how pathetic I was. I don’t know if you all understand what I mean here, but that was really happening. The pressure and the hours spent in the office made me need to strive more to work on other things; through heart, mind, and both at a time.
Thankfully, those were also three months that taught me to believe that the Lord whom I worship is the Lord who provides, who reigns in victory, and who brings peace to me, regardless whatever situation I experience.
His name is Jehovah Jireh, Jehovah Nissi, Jehovah Shalom.
Thank God my faith is built, my heart is shaped, and my mind is refreshed, at the end. As you can see on the picture I insert here as a proof, I smile sincerely, guys! My Lord is so great and awesome! :’)
on how God really loves her.