I fell asleep. 

Hm.

Ok, speaking of anticipating something, I will say that I am currently anticipating myself from not giving my best in the upcoming Christmas celebration. Ah this one is too personal and I don’t really like to talk about it. 

I feel so much afraid, actually, everytime I think about it. I wanna run but I can’t and I shouldn’t. This celebration is the one I had been praying for. I am so excited too, hehe, you know, it’s kind of having mixed-feeling. 

I don’t want to be driven by my own insecurities though. I should remember that by grace alone I will serve. So if I want to anticipate, I should anticipate myself from being a boastful one, from any thoughts to take this service for granted that may cause me make a bad preparation, and something like that. 

I think I will do that and keep on praying, may God put His mercy on me. I can’t do this alone without God’s presence.