Day 20: How I Unwind

Jeez, staying committed to something is pretty hard nowadays, especially when you have many things get in your way, or you don’t think twice while making one.

Okay, so today I am gonna write about “how I unwind”.

A high pressured situation may mentally kill me because I am a quite ‘think’ and ‘feel’ person at the same time. You don’t have any idea how stressful the inner me, right now. Some unpleasant situation get in my way and I still don’t have much time to totally handle them. Some people may not able to feel the same way, but to me this thing is real. I choose not to show my burden to others in order to protect myself from drama and to let people live in peace, by not knowing what I really feel, hehe. But don’t get it wrong, I sometimes tell people what I feel, but not to just random people, they’re the best I could consider to share any struggle I have. So it could be a way on how I unwind; sharing stories with my best people.

But honestly saying, the most common way to unwind that I always do for years is writing. I don’t know how it starts, but I know myself as a person who loves to write, conventionally or not. I feel it is necessary for me to write because I can rearrange what I think, what I feel, and how I should react. A note book and a pen are important means for me. I often find solutions to my every problem by writing them down on a paper. But then, one thing I’d just realized is, I don’t only write but also pray.

God has been, he always be, my very best reader and listener since I was a little kid. I often put my prayers toward any situation I was in, on my personal notebook. That’s how I always feel relieved once I write; it’s God whom I talk to. Ah, I got little teary eyes now because I remember my days back then, when I was in a difficult situation and found rest in God while I write. It’s like writing a letter to God, I think.

As time goes by, as God works on my spiritual growth, I write in order to reflect God’s words too, restate them to myself, nailing them in my heart and mind once again, and how they talk to my condition, realizing how relevant God’s words are to me. I don’t feel enough when I just read God’s words, I need to reflect them through my writing, and also to think what I should do now according to those words. I do all when I write.

I always find healing in reflecting God’s words.

Hm, people may have their own ways to unwind, different from what I write above, like, shopping their most wanted stuff, window shopping, door shopping (?), karaoke-ing, eating, or anything, I sometimes do that too, but I want to say, they can’t fit-in my deepest need of relaxing or de-stressing, they are just fine, but not enough.

But when I connect with God, it’s more than enough.

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