This morning I woke up feeling so peaceful after winning a battle with Satan last night. Sounds creepy, huh? But, yeah, it’s so encouraging & moving, to be able to win over it right in front of my face. What helped me much? The faces of my students and the grace I’ve been given until now.

But, how is my feeling, in general? To be honest, not so good. Like what I’ve said on Facebook, I’ve suffered a lot of hardships, people around me barely realize. This year is tough, indeed, but I’m blessed to have my person here besides me. I found myself running to him over and over again, in every season of this year’s madness. It’s always been him, from our day one, whom God already put to lead me & help me.

I struggle to face the fact that I am on a path that is contrary to my personal sinful desires. I thought I was strong enough to be on this quiet road, but apparently not. The fact that even my family did not approve my choice made me continue to question the validity of God’s sovereignty over me. However, His ways are not mine.

Many people can casually choose the path that suits their passion, according to their wishes, but I can’t. There is always a voice in my heart that reminds me that God’s will and path must be first. It is at this time that I need to recall how God showed His will in recent years.

This is what God wants me to remember, “but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

Hope. So, here’s a quick reflection, am I losing hope if I keep feeling weakened day by day? And not just losing hope, but hope in the Lord? The Lord there is described as the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. Am I losing hope in the Lord who is so powerful like this?

Hoping is similar to waiting. Maybe the problem is I can’t stand waiting and finding it better to rush everything. Rushing my personal growth, I thought I could do it, rushing my own understanding about any situation, and missed the lessons–that I can be hopeful in Him–He wanted me to learn if I can wait.

What caused me to rush? I’m still thinking. I’m still trying to figure it out. So, in this time of Advent, I want to learn to wait on Him and kinda build my hope in Him and let Him figure some things out for me. The things I really need to understand. So, it’s good to detach some things a bit, like my online presence on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and so. Because I want to see if I have been missing something while I’m in front of my phone.

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